溫故知新 Old wisdom, today’s insight — ONGO
What Is a True Friend?
Is a true friend one loved not for use or pleasure, but for who they are?
Perfect friendship is the friendship of those who are good.
Aristotle divided friendship (philia) into three kinds: friendship for mutual use, friendship for the pleasure of company, and friendship that cherishes the other's character (virtue) itself. The first two scatter when the profit or pleasure ends, but only the third endures — for as long as the other is good, the love lasts too. Such true friends, he said, are rare and take time to win. The question carried on. Cicero in On Friendship held that true friendship is possible only among the good; Montaigne pushed his friendship with La Boétie into an inexplicable oneness — "because he was he, because I was I." Why do we befriend? The answer divides the depth of friendship.
In an age flush with connections but scarce in deep friends, the question of why we befriend grows all the clearer.
📝I, Too, Stand Before It
I lay my friendships on these three scales. Honestly, many rest on use and pleasure — because we help each other, because company is fun. That too is precious, but Aristotle points to a deeper place: a friend I want beside me for no gain at all, simply because they are good. Such friends are rare, and I am unsure whether I am such a friend to anyone. Before wishing for a true friend, I ask whether I am becoming one. I, too, am standing before this question.
✍️Your Answer
The lineage of the ancients ends here. Now it is your turn before the question. There is no right answer — only how you, today, would answer.
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