溫故知新 Old wisdom, today’s insight — ONGO
Does Getting Along Mean Becoming the Same?
Is true harmony becoming the same, or blending while keeping our differences?
The noble person harmonizes without becoming the same; the small person becomes the same without harmony.
Confucius saw two kinds of getting along. "Harmony" (he) is a concord that keeps differences, as different sounds blend into music. "Sameness" (tong) is a uniformity where all make the same sound and erase difference. The noble person harmonizes without becoming the same; the small person becomes the same yet reaches no true concord. The question branched. Confucians developed ritual (li) as "the art of tuning differences"; Daoists, by contrast, saw a greater harmony in setting down even deliberate tuning and letting each follow its nature. In the West too, Heraclitus said "opposites in tension make the fairest harmony," citing the taut bow and lyre. Is it a harmony that erases difference, or one that lets difference live?
In an age quick to sync voices within one's own camp, the call to harmonize while keeping difference grows harder and dearer.
To get along, I often erase myself — swallowing opinions so as not to stand out, folding away different thoughts so as not to break the mood.
📝I, Too, Stand Before It
To get along, I often erase myself — swallowing opinions so as not to stand out, folding away different thoughts so as not to break the mood. I took that for harmony, but Confucius says it is "sameness," not "harmony." True concord is not my vanishing but my different sound blending with another's into richer music. A chorus where all sing one note is not harmony but monotony. Today I try, carefully, to learn how not to erase my different note in company, yet not become discord either.
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