溫故知新 Old wisdom, today’s insight — ONGO
Does a Plainer Bond Last Longer?
What does it mean that the noble befriend plain as water, the petty sweet as wine?
The friendship of the noble is plain as water; that of the petty, sweet as wine.
Zhuangzi contrasted two flavors of friendship. The noble's is plain as water — without stimulation, yet never cloying, and lasting. The petty's is sweet as wine — good at first, but soon sickening and severed. As a bond flared hot cools fast, an unshowy friendship runs deeper. "Plainness" is not indifference but a mature distance that trusts quietly without clinging. The question joins the Daoist idea of non-action (wu-wei) — a friendship that continues naturally without being forced. In the West too, though Montaigne praised intense friendship, Seneca warned against showy company and urged a few plain friends. Hot friendship or plain — which one lasts?
In an age of showy connection and quick burnout, a bond that flows long and plain as water feels more precious.
📝I, Too, Stand Before It
I have often been burned by hot friendships — flaring at first, texting daily and sharing everything, then somehow becoming a burden until both, worn out, drift apart. Zhuangzi's "plainness" points the opposite way: a bond not awkward after long absence, where trust flows without clinging. That is not thin affection but affection so deep it need not be proven. Now I want to learn the friendship that flows beside me long, like water, rather than one that flares showily. Before that plain but never-dry bond, I too am standing.
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